The beauty of the back of the tapestry.

Tonight is our 7th class.
Only 2 more to go!

They are bringing in other Foster Parents to class tonight for a time of Q&A. I am hoping we learn a ton from them.

I have to say, the path seems very foggy right now and unclear. Hubs and I are taking this process one step at time but currently I feel like I'm walking in fog. My emotions are literally all over the place..poor hubs. Ha! 

We are still moving forward but after all these classes I feel very nervous about the whole thing.  Because guess what? It's gonna be hard. Just because something is hard though ,doesn't mean it's not the right path to take. 

I do too much of the comparison game. That game is making me nuts. Everybody's path is different and as I look around at everybody elses path I'm missing the beauty of my own! 

You know that whole tapestry illustration? If you look at the back of a tapestry it's a big mess but you flip it over and then see the beauty of what it actually is..what the colors weaved together actually look like.
I'm a big colorful mess but hoping the colors are weaving together a beautiful story. 

The typical baby story: woman gets pregnant, woman announces pregnancy, woman has 9 months to figure things out, process, gather things, set up nursery, baby shower, stretch marks, physical aches and pains, labor and delivery, bonding, beast feeding, bring newborn home.. you know the rest...

My road to motherhood will look much different than this. As I typed this list I think of all my friends and many of their baby stories have had bumps in the road but still kinda look like that. I know those bumps they experienced (struggling to get pregnant, premature deliveries, breast feeding struggles) have been very painful for them ,so I know that really any deviation from the "norm" can be an emotional process and bring heart ache.

I am just currently processing my journey to motherhood and trying to embrace the out of the norm journey that it is. I've dreamed that it would be a certain way but I have to let these dreams go and embrace the beauty of a different path.

My Bestie Katie said, your journey has always looked different. This statement actually brings a lot of comfort and peace.

So I will attend class tonight with Hubs and embrace our path. It definitely looks different but there is beauty in different.
The path is still full of question marks but isn't everybody's?

aaand the Home Study has Begun!

Yesterday we met our Resource Worker.

Our nerves were high as we prepared our home the day before.  We have wonderful friends and one of our wonderful friends came and helped me clean.  THANK YOU D!

I was very nervous that Chewie would bark and sure enough as our Resource worker stood at the bottom of the stairs, he began barking away.  But, I held my composure and calmed the Chews down and then he was fine the rest of the visit.

The day before, we had received a packet in the mail that we were supposed to fill out and give to the Resource Worker.   There was also a list of documents that we were to prepare.  Within less than 24 hours we gathered the documents, filled out the packet and were ready when she arrived.   The packet was an extensive questionnaire about our marriage... it was pretty invasive...  We understand why the state has to be invasive... they have to make sure we are not abusers/crazy people.  I get it.  But it still didn't make it any easier filling it out and being vulnerable with intimate details of our lives.  BUT we did it anyway.

So as our Resource Worker sat down on the couch... and as Chewie continued to sniff her.. we began to nervously 'tell our story'.  She then handed us another packet of questions that we were to fill out right there on the spot.. without conversing... and then she would interview us separately.  These set of questions were even more invasive. It was very nerve wracking as we were separated and then questioned.  Our Resource Worker is nice but we just met the lady and right away we have to bear our souls about intimate details.  It was nerve wracking to say the least.  BUT AGAIN, we did it anyway.

We brought the Resource worker around our apartment and she told us some areas we will need to baby proof.  Wires.. chords.. things that a baby could pull over.. places to put medicines...

The next step is to wait...(which I'm so good at, wink wink) and to continue taking our classes. 3 classes down-- 6 more to go!  Our worker says we are to wait for her to call us with the next step. She will come to our home 2 more times and then someone from Trenton will come to officially evaluate our space and see if there are any violations. Once we are approved with no violations, and we finish our classes, and they  make sure we aren't crazy people... then we will be CERTIFIED!  Once we are certified we could get a call for a placement within 24 hours.  By the end of September we could have a baby in our lives!   Let me state that a different way.... within 2 MONTHS we could have a baby in our lives! 

Let the NESTNG Begin!!!!   

Second/third class done!

We had our second class Monday night aanndd Tuesday received a call learning who our Resource Worker is!

Wednesday night we had our third class and Friday our Resource Worker comes to start the Home Study!

It feels good to know things are moving along. More details on these things to come.
The picture is of the classroom.